Your local mosque used to feel like a second home, alive with the warmth of a bustling community. But disagreements among the mosque leadership have trickled into the congregation, and the mosque now feels like a hub of drama and conflict. The conflict drags on, and no one seems to know how to help the community resolve it.
Many of us are familiar with such a scenario. If it’s not conflict at the mosque, then it’s a controversial action taken by a leader or institution that has people tense and divided. The culture of our congregations and organizations impacts our well-being. A healthy congregational culture creates a sense of well-being and belonging, and communal belonging is essential to the wellness of communities. Religious group belonging enhances positive mental health outcomes (Koenig & Larson, 2001). Belonging to the Muslim community is linked to a lower likelihood of substance use among Muslim young adults (Hashem et al., 2023)
But ongoing, unresolved conflict can leave people feeling upset, unheard, or misunderstood by the leaders and fellow community members of their institutions. Slowly, the fibers of communal connection break down, leaving community members feeling isolated and disconnected. Ignoring or avoiding conflict stifles progress and builds resentment. But conflict does not always have to be explosive and damaging. With the right tools and frameworks, it can lead to growth. This blog post will provide three Prophetic principles for navigating conflict in communal settings, with the aim of helping our communities move beyond conflict to a greater sense of purpose and achievement.
1. Create an environment that prioritizes genuine relationship-building.
Conflict has always existed, and always will, even amongst the best of us – including the community of the Prophet Muhammad (S). The key is to learn how to address conflict and allow it to push us towards growth, development and ultimately powerful relationships within our communities. The Prophet (S) confronted conflict with his antagonists, but he also addressed conflict within the community of believers by proactively creating an environment in which relationships flourished.
Fostering strong relationships and understanding the role they play when dealing with conflict was something our Prophet Muhammed (S) understood deeply. To establish strong connections across cultural lines and build a unified new community in Medinah, Prophet Muhammed (S) instituted The Pact of Brotherhood between the Ansar (the natives of Medinah) and the Muhajirun (immigrants to Medinah) upon their arrival to the city. This pact bound each immigrant with a helper, allowing for ease in settlement to their new homes and increasing brotherhood/sisterhood bonds between the two groups. Despite the diversity, the Prophet (S) enabled them to build deeper relationships with one another through this pairing. His foresight allowed for both spiritual and social strength that would allow the Muslim community to deal with adversity and conflict through a strong sense of connection and trust that had been established.
From this we learn that it is essential to create environments that value relationship-building within a community – not just delivering programming, which tends to be the focus of many mosques. Ultimately growth, both of the institution and individuals, rather than division is imperative. Growth comes when our diverse backgrounds, experiences and insights are shared and valued in the relationships that make up our communities, when a true sense of brotherhood and sisterhood flows within a community. In fact, when examining youth belonging in mosques in a study conducted by The FYI, researchers found that interpersonal connections were the biggest reason cited for why young people feel like they belonged at their local mosque (having a positive relationship with someone there), and why they didn’t belong (because of gossip, backbiting, cliques).
Building and fostering these kinds of community relationships is key. Here are some ways to do this in communal settings:
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- Facilitating small group activities within larger social events to promote intimacy and relationship-building among congregation members
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- Encouraging congreation members to be in the service of one another and to look out for each other’s needs
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- Educating on Prophetic character development in sermons and programs, and embodying it within leadership, staff and volunteer interactions; The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Shall I tell you about the most beloved to me and the closest to my assembly on the Day of Resurrection? Those with the best character.” (Bukhari)
2. Set clear guidelines for conflict management proactively.
Creating a structure that allows for conflict management before conflict arises is essential for communities to deal with conlfict. Prophet Muhammed (S) was cognizant of this fact. Upon settling into the city, he established the rights and duties of all those living there through The Consitiution of Medinah, a document intended to provide peace, protection and security to inhabitants of Medinah, regardless of faith. The Constitution of Medinah offered freedom of faith, explicitly stating that Jews and Muslims can fully practice their religion. All tribal alliances were respected and maintained. Prophet Muhammed (S) upheld this treaty from his end, never breaking it once (Lings, 2015). Later, this was important because when conflict did occur, the Prophet (S) maintained justice on the principles laid out in the constitution. He was adamant about distinguishing between people and situations, exhibiting respect and justice to all irrespective of religious affiliation.
Justice is a key component in the tenet of the message that Prophet Muhammed (S) brought to his people. The Quran states, “…witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness” (Quran 5:8). Therefore, its essential for communities to establish justice in all community engagements while identifying mechanisms to deal with conflict when it does come up. How can best be achieved?
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- It is essential that leadership attend trainings that will equip them with the skills required to implement and establish healthy guidelines for conflict. This could be in the form of updated bylaws, or a set of group agreements used to identify codes of conduct and rules that members understand and adhere to.
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- Transparency around such conflict management protocols within a mosque or institution.
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- Establishing effective feedback mechanisms that give community members a chance to voice their concerns and opinions, allowing leadership to listen, respond, and address issues before they escalate.
When leaders are ill equipped to deal with conflict, ripple effects and consequences are witnessed throughout the community. An impactful leader understands their role in mitigating and addressing conflict head on while upholding justice for all involved, as our Prophet Muhammed (S) did throughout his life.
3. Work with a professional facilitator/mediator.
When the tribe of Quraysh decided to renovate a portion of the Kabah, the Prophet Muhammed (S) was called upon to be a mediator amongst them. Initially, all the clans worked on separate walls, but once they reached the placement of the sacred Black Stone, each clan coveted the honor of lifting it into place. Heated arguments persisted over days with violent disagreements breaking out. In an effort to mitigate tension, a suggestion was made that the first to enter the sacred space would judge, essentially acting as an arbitrator on the issue. The first to enter was Muhammed (S), prompting a jubilant reaction of relief and acceptance by all clan members. They said, “He is Al-Ameen, the trustworthy, we accept his judgment.” Prophet Muhammed asked for a cloak, then placed the Black Stone at the center of it and had each clan-representative lift the cloak in unison to the area of placement. Prophet Muhammed (S) followed this by adjusting the Black Stone into place. His role as a mediator displayed his astute judgment and intellect in handling a difficult and sensitive situation with wisdom and honor. The conflict surrounding the Black Stone had been resolved by ensuring every stakeholder was part of the solution, with each clan satisfied with the outcome.
When conflict gets to a point that goes beyond the capability or expertise of leadership, it is imperative to find a trained mediator to facilitate conflict resolution between the parties. This approach is essential to facilitate effective solution-focused meetings between disputing parties, to understand the needs of both, and to ensure that progress can be made. Utilizing effective mediation will help both parties move forward together and mitigate animosity as solutions are defined and implemented by a neutral party. See the end of this post for a compilation of conflict mediation resources.
In Closing
A firm commitment to the betterment of our communities must include a striving for healthy conflict management. Thankfully, there are numerous tools, methods and theories used to resolve organizational and interpersonal conflict. And when looking at the Prophetic biography, we see inspirational situations in which the Prophet Muhammed (S) handled conflict with wisdom and grace. Anchored in an unrelenting commitment to truth, he was also renowned for his generosity, magnanimity and compassion. The combination of these character traits were well known and during the conflict, paved the way for the necessary psychological space to engage in the challenging confrontations that arose during his mission.
Our communities are filled with incredible talent and potential, and our values can be examples for the rest of the world. Let’s effectively manage the invariable conflict that will occur to truly preserve and elevate the power and potential of our communities.
Conflict Mediation Resources
Please note: The FYI team selected relevant resources from a variety of platforms while keeping cultural and religious sensitivities in mind. Content and views expressed on these platforms do not necessarily reflect the vision and views of The FYI.
This post was written by Saima Nasim, M.S. founder of Moeen Conflict Resolution. It was edited by Issra Killawi.
iBelong
Want to learn more about fostering belonging in a community? Check out The FYI’s iBelong research study which examines belonging of Muslim youth at the mosque.