Gratitude
What does it mean to have gratitude?
- Gratitude involves being thankful and feeling appreciative for receiving a gift that may not have been earned or was not expected (Emmons & Crumpler, 2000), and for being grateful for good things that happen (Peterson & Seligman, 2004).
- In the Islamic framework, gratitude isn’t just in response to blessings and good events–but towards negative occurrences and the withholding of good. Gratitude towards Allah, and not just people, is a key tenet of Islamic faith.
- Due to tawakkul, or perfect trust and reliance on God (Qur’an, 33:3), every event in life, positive or negative, is believed to be ultimately beneficial for the believer, thus, even negative events are seen as moments to reflect and be grateful. For example, when the blessing of health or wealth is taken away, Muslims are encouraged to (1) be grateful for when the blessing was given in the first place, or (2) reflect on God’s protection (“it could have been worse”), or (3) take the moment as a chance to atone for one’s wrongdoing.
- Gratitude (shukr) is demonstrated through (Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya):
- The heart, by feelings of subordination and submissiveness
- The tongue, through verbally acknowledging the blessing and praising/thanking (the benefactor)
- Acts of obedience and unwavering devotion–using blessings you’ve been given for good causes and the pleasure of God
What does science say about developing gratitude?
- Practicing gratitude improves emotional resilience and provides a framework for dealing with life’s challenges: a positive mindset helps one focus on what’s going well instead of negative challenges. Over time, this shift “becomes self-reinforcing”: the brain learns to seek out positives making it easier to be optimistic in tough situations.
- The following group-based social processes foster gratitude amongst youth in group settings (read more here; Wong et al., 2024):
- Disclosing gratitude – sharing what one is grateful for with others
- Expressing gratitude – expressing gratitude to other group members
- Receiving gratitude – receiving gratitude from others increases social impact and self-efficacy
- Responding to gratitude disclosures/expressions- taking action towards others’ expressions of gratitude
- Witnessing gratitude disclosures/expressions- simply witnessing interpersonal expression of gratitude increases prosocial behavior
- Three processes are needed to nurture a more genuine exploration of gratitude for teens:
- Identity exploration: youth need to explore their personal character strengths
- Capitalizing on their strengths: activities that builds upon youth’s strengths increases self-esteem and confidence
- Positive relationships: Once youth know their strengths, they can leverage them to connect with others and do good
What does Allah and His Prophet(s) say about having gratitude?
Gratitude through your heart
Quran
- “Which of the favors of your Lord will you deny.” (Surah 55 mentioned 31 times)
- “Then remember Me, I will remember you. Be grateful to Me and do not reject Me” (2:152)
- …If you tried to count Allah’s blessings, you would never be able to number them. Indeed, humankind is truly unfair, ‘totally’ ungrateful. (14:34)
- …whatever blessings you have, it is from Allah (16:53)
- And He is the One Who causes the day and the night to alternate, ‘as a sign’ for whoever desires to be mindful or to be grateful. (25:62)
- Do you not see that the ships sail ‘smoothly’ through the sea by the grace of Allah so that He may show you some of His signs? Surely, in this are signs for whoever is steadfast, grateful. (31:31)
- The two bodies of water are not alike: one is fresh, palatable, and pleasant to drink and the other is salty and bitter. Yet from them both you eat tender seafood and extract ornaments to wear. And you see the ships ploughing their way through both, so you may seek His bounty and give thanks ‘to Him’. (35:12)
- “And Allah has extracted you from the wombs of your mothers not knowing a thing, and He made for you hearing and vision and intellect in order for you to be grateful.” [16:78]
Hadith
- “Look at those who are lower than you and do not look at those who are higher than you, lest you belittle the favors Allah conferred upon you. (Muslim 2963c.)
- “Have qana’ah (contentment), [and] you will be the most grateful of people. (Al-Albani, Silsilah al-ahadtih al-sahihah no. 930)
Gratitude through your speech
Quran
- Prophet Abraham describes God’s blessings in the most beautiful way: “…Who created me, and He [it is who] guides me. And it is He who feeds me and gives me drink; and when I am ill, it is He who cures me; and who will cause me to die and then bring me to life; and who, I hope, will forgive me my faults on the Day of Judgment.” (Quran 26:78-85)
- Prophet Sulayman (AS) said, “This is by the grace of my Lord! To test me whether I am grateful or ungrateful! And if any is grateful, truly his gratitude is (a gain) for his own soul; but if any is ungrateful, truly my Lord is free of all needs, Supreme in honor! (27: 40)
Hadith
- Whoever does not thank the people, is not thankful to Allah (Sunan Abi Dawud)
- “The best shukr is alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah)” (Al-Albani, Silsilah al-ahadtih al-sahihah no. 1497)
Gratitude through actions
Quran
“Work, O family of Dawood, in gratitude.” And few of My servants are grateful. (34:13)
Hadith
- Prophet (S) would stay up all night, standing until his feet became swollen. When he was asked, “Why are you doing this, when Allah has forgiven all your past and future wrong actions?” he replied, “Should I not be a grateful slave?” (Al Bukhari, Muslim)
- “Take advantage of five before five: your youth before you old age, your health before your illness, your riches before your poverty, your free time before you work, and your life before your death.” (Sahih according to Al-Albani)
- Abū Bakrah narrated, “When anything came to the Prophet (S) which caused pleasure (or, by which he was made glad), he prostrated himself in gratitude to Allah.” (Sunan Abū Dāwūd, no. 2774)
In this section, you’ll find stories from Islamic history, the seerah, and role models that embody this virtue.
- Gratitude through your heart
- Once we make the realization that we can never thank Allah enough, we will then truly express shukr in our hearts: Prophet Mūsā came to this realization and asked, “O my Lord, how can I give shukr to You when the smallest blessing You bestowed upon me cannot be properly repaid with all of my good deeds?” So a revelation came to him: “O Mūsā, now you have thanked Me.”
- Gratitude through your speech
- Shukr and the King: In this short fictional story, youth learn about a servant (Shukr) to a King, who said Alhumdulillah (praise be to God) for every occurrence, even when it wasn’t a good thing (such as the king’s finger being cut off).
- The story of Marcellus Williams and his last words (“Praise be to Allah in all situations”). How can we develop this sense of gratitude in all situations?
- Gratitude of the Old Man
- Read this story of an old man who lacks many of his abilities but is still grateful for what he does have.
- Gratitude through your actions
- Gratitude of Muhammad Ali – explores Muslim practices that help cultivate gratitude with a focus on Muhammad Ali.
In this section, you’ll find activities that teach the virtue and help youth put the virtue into action along with discussion questions.
- Expressing gratitude
- Goal:
- Help youth find genuine ways to express gratitude to others
- Activity 1:
- Turn to your friend and share 3 things you are grateful for today.
- Choose an adult (preferably a mentor) who you are really grateful for and write him or her a letter to express your gratitude.
- Remember to be honest and specific. The more effort you put into writing your letter, the more your message will mean to the other person.
- Activity 2:
- Talk about the 5 Love Languages and explain how showing love is similar to gratitude (e.g., quality time, acts of service, physical touch) in how we show love/gratitude.
- Ask the youth what their love language is, and the love languages of their siblings, parents and friends.
- Challenge them to show love via their loved one’s love language.
- Discussion Questions:
- How does expressing gratitude make you a better Muslim?
- How did it feel to write or share specific reasons why you’re grateful for someone?
- What’s the difference between saying “thanks” and showing true gratitude?
- Goal:
- Gratitude is a Choice
- Goal:
- Help youth realize that they can choose what to focus on in their minds, and learn to drop negativity this way.
- Activity:
- Look around the room for 20 seconds to find all the blue things that you can see… (wait 20 seconds).
- OK, what did you see that was green? After students point out that you said ‘blue’, reply: “But you looked around, right? So why can’t you tell me what was green?”
- Debrief:
- It’s important to realize that you choose how you look at life and what focus you can take throughout the day.
- You can spend all of your time and energy thinking about all the things that go wrong in life, looking at people’s negative characteristics, and doing things to feel better about yourself at the expense of others.
- Or you can choose to appreciate all the good things that you have in your life, recognize people’s positive characteristics, and do things that make others feel better about themselves.
- Discussion Questions:
- What are some “blue” things you’ve been focusing on lately—frustrations, fears, negativity? What are some “green” things you may have missed?
- Why do you think it’s easier to focus on what’s wrong than on what’s right?
- Goal:
- Introspection Activity
- Goal:
- learn more about gratitude by looking inward
- Activity:
- Hang up each of these questions on the wall, let people sit underneath the question they want to answer. They write their answer in their notebook, then each person will share with everyone (in the room or in their group) their answer.
- What about today is better than yesterday?
- What’s an aspect of how you were parented for which you feel grateful?
- What’s something enjoyable you get to experience every day that you take for granted?
- What is different today than it was a year ago that I’m grateful for?
- What movie, book, blog, article, has affected your life for the better recently?
- Who in your life survived something difficult? How are you grateful that they experienced that?
- What is something you don’t really need but you’re grateful for?
- Hang up each of these questions on the wall, let people sit underneath the question they want to answer. They write their answer in their notebook, then each person will share with everyone (in the room or in their group) their answer.
- Discussion Questions:
- What was it like to pause and think so deeply about your life? Did anything surprise you?
- Why do you think it’s important to notice things we usually take for granted?
- How does Islam encourage us to reflect (tafakkur) and be grateful? What’s the connection between the two?
- Goal:
- Pick-up sticks
- Goal:
- Practice gratitude in different formats via colored sticks
- Activity:
- Use different colored sticks and assign each color to a different gratitude category (can also use playing cards or paper). Have each person pick a color intentionally or randomly and answer the question associated with that color.
- Red – Name a person you are grateful for
- Blue – Name an experience you are grateful for
- Green – Name a thing you are grateful for
- Yellow – Name a space/place you are grateful for
- Use different colored sticks and assign each color to a different gratitude category (can also use playing cards or paper). Have each person pick a color intentionally or randomly and answer the question associated with that color.
- Discussion Questions:
- Was there a particular color (category) that was easiest or most challenging for you to answer, and why do you think that was?
- Did hearing other people’s gratitude responses inspire you to think of things you hadn’t considered before? If so, what resonated with you?
- Goal:
- Why I’m Grateful Game
- Goal:
- Teach gratitude in a humorous way
- Activity:
- Group divided into three. The first team is given a silly word or phrase in which they have 5 seconds to list 3 reasons they are grateful for the word. If they make sense to the judge, then they get a point. If not, another team can steal the point with 3 other reasons. Whoever gets the most points wins.
- Some words for the game: rain, pimple, feet, hairline, pajamas with feet, forks, saliva, memes, fall (autumn)
- Group divided into three. The first team is given a silly word or phrase in which they have 5 seconds to list 3 reasons they are grateful for the word. If they make sense to the judge, then they get a point. If not, another team can steal the point with 3 other reasons. Whoever gets the most points wins.
- Discussion Questions:
- What was the most challenging silly word or phrase to find reasons for gratitude, and why do you think it was so tough?
- How might this game change the way you look at everyday annoyances or things you typically take for granted?
- Were there any moments during the game where you or another team came up with a reason for gratitude that genuinely surprised or amused you? Share it!
- Goal:
- Other activities
- 13 Gratitude exercises and activities
- Exploring gratitude through the Quran – This Yaqeen article complete with exercises that you can do with your youth explores four themes found in the Quran connected to gratitude.
- Youth Gratitude Project – This curriculum teaches gratitude practices to help youth feel more socially competent and connected, be more satisfied with school, have better mental health and emotional well-being, and be more motivated about school and their future.
In this section, you’ll find Dua’s that can help youth connect to Allah through Dua. They can recite these duaa during activities or in their daily lives to be granted these virtues.
- Prophet (S) told Muadh (RA): “By Allah, I love you, so do not forget to say at the end of every salah, “O Allah, help me to remember You and to give thanks to You and to worship You well” (Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi).
- Ibn Abbas reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, used to supplicate, “O Allah, make me content with what You have provided for me, bless me in it, an appoint good for me in everything I do not have.” (Al-Dawat Al-Kabir)
In this section, we’ve provided deep reflection questions you can use to help youth check-in with themselves on each virtue and do a self-assessment of their own growth.
- When do you really feel grateful?
- Think about a time when someone filled your bucket (brought you joy) or when you filled someone else’s. How did it make you feel?
- What are you grateful for when you return from a trip (e.g., camping, overseas)? What did you focus on when tough times set in?
- What does an ungrateful person look like?
- How does a negative mindset impact your gratitude?
- What is the relationship between contentment and gratitude? What about complaining?
- What ayah in the Quran connects rizq with gratitude? (14:7) Share examples where you have witnessed this?
- What blessings do you have which you are grateful for? How do you show gratitude for the blessings you have?
- How would you behave if you lost something you were grateful for?
Cited Sources and Additional Resources:
- https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC_Gratitude_Curriculum_Tweens-Teens_LESSON_3.pdf
- https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/paper/the-art-of-gratitude-quranic-themes-on-shukr
- Handout (https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/gratitude-exercises)
- My Shoes short film (be grateful and don’t compare yourself to others): https://littlethings.com/lifestyle/rich-boy-poor-boy-bench
- Glass half empty or full experiment: https://youtu.be/v4grmoVipfM
- Gratitude Experiment (step by step): https://youtu.be/U5lZBjWDR_c
- An Experiment in Gratitude (emotional): https://youtu.be/oHv6vTKD6lg