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Rahmah

Rahmah

What does it mean to have rahmah?

  • Rahmah is a foundational virtue in Islam and means more than mercy or forgiveness. It refers to God’s non-desirous, encompassing, and nurturing form of love that He expressed unconditionally (Esposito, 2004), 
  • It encompasses compassionate love, or a sense of concern and orientation towards understanding and supporting others, for the good of the other, without altruistic motives (Sprecher & Fehr, 2005).
  • Rahmah facilitates other virtues (generosity, gratitude, humility, accountability). 
  • Three components: 
    • Compassion (in all interactions, foster bonds of empathy and community strength)
    • Benevolence (acts of kindness)
    • Forgiveness (grudges, wrongdoings, seeking reconciliation)
  • Compassion is easier to show towards family or familiar others (familial compassion) compared to global compassion which is towards anyone else, regardless of being in one’s family, social group, etc (Ekman & Ekman, 2017).
  • The following traits are necessary for fostering genuine rahmah:
    • Perspective taking skills are essential in fostering compassion (Malti et al., 2013)
      • Affective perspective taking (understanding the feelings of others) is particularly fundamental
    • Feelings of sympathy for others
    • Desire to help others (Malti et al., 2016)
  • Fostering tolerance for others, especially non-judgment, increases abilities to see others in positive lights and have compassion and mercy (Rutland & Killen, 2015)

What does Allah and His Prophet(s) say about having rahmah?

Global Rahmah

  • …Verily, Allah is kind and merciful to the people. (2:143)
  • Woe to those who pray, who are heedless of their prayer, who pray to be seen and withhold small acts of kindness. (107:4-7)
  • Kind words and forgiveness are better than charity followed by injury… (2:263)
  • Speak to [Pharaoh] gently, so perhaps he may be mindful or fearful. (20:44)
  • We did not send you except as mercy to mankind. (21:107)
  • When the Prophet’s grandchild was presented to him, his breath quivered as if it were within a water-skin. The Prophet’s eyes were overcome with tears. Sa’d said, “O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet said, “This is compassion which Allah has placed in the hearts of His servants.” (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 7377, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 7377)
  • “Whoever is not merciful to those on the earth, those in the heavens will not be merciful to him.” (al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr lil-Ṭabarānī 2496)
  • “Whoever is merciful, even as he slaughters his animal, then Allah will be merciful to him on the Day of Resurrection.” (al-Adab al-Mufrad lil-Bukhārī 381) (Grade: Hasan (fair) according to Al-Albani)
  • “Whoever wishes to be saved from Hell and admitted into Paradise, they should believe in Allah and the Last Day and treat other people the way they themselves would like to be treated.” (Muslim)
  • “Allah grants for gentleness what he does not grant for harshness. And if Allah loves someone, He gives them gentleness. Any household that is deprived of gentleness is deprived of goodness.” (Muslim)

Rahmah Towards Family

  • And lower to them the wing of humility, out of mercy, and say, “My Lord, have mercy on them, as they raised me when I was a child.” (17:24)
  • Your Lord has commanded that you should worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say no word that shows impatience with them, and do not be harsh with them, but speak to them respectfully. (17:23)
  • Those of you who have affluence and means should not refuse to give to the relatives, and the needy, and the emigrants for the sake of God. And let them pardon, and let them overlook. Do you not love for God to pardon you? God is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (24:22)
  • “Verily, this womb is derived from the name of the Most Merciful. Whoever severs its relations, Allah will forbid him from entering Paradise.” (Musnad Aḥmad 1651)
  •  “Verily, the womb has an iron hook attached firmly to the Throne, speaking with a penetrating tongue: O Allah, keep relations with whoever keeps relations with me, and sever relations with whoever severs them with me. Allah Almighty says: I am the Gracious, the Merciful. I derived the womb from My name. Whoever keeps relations with it, I keep relations with him. Whoever cuts off relations with it, I cut off relations with him.” (Musnad al-Bazzār 6495)
  • Anas ibn Malik reported: I have never seen anyone more merciful to his dependents than the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him. (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2316)

Forgiveness

Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves: do not despair of God’s mercy, for God forgives all sins. He is indeed the Forgiver, the Clement.”  (39:53)

  • “Verily, on the day Allah created the heavens and the earth, He created one hundred parts of mercy. Each part can fill what is between the heavens and the earth. He made one part of mercy for the earth, from which a mother has compassion for her child, animals and birds have compassion for each other. On the Day of Resurrection, He will perfect this mercy.” (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2753)
  • Abu Huraira reported God’s messenger as saying, “When God completed the creation He wrote the following which is with Him above His Throne, ‘My mercy has taken precedence over my anger’.” A version says, “Has prevailed over my anger.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

In this section, you’ll find stories from Islamic history, the seerah, and role models that embody this virtue.

Global Rahmah

  • The Bedouin Demanding his Rights
    • Anas bin Malik narrates: Once I was walking with God’s Apostle and he was wearing a cloak with a thick border. A Bedouin followed him and pulled his cloak so violently that I noticed the side of the shoulder of God’s Apostle affected by the border of the cloak because of that violent pull. The Bedouin said, “O Muhammad! Give me some of God’s wealth which is with you.” God’s Apostle turned and looked at him, and smiling, he ordered that he be given something. (Bukhari Volume 7, Book 72, Number 700)
  • Bedouin urinating in the masjid
    • Anas ibn Malik reports: “God’s messenger was sitting in the mosque with some of his companions when a Bedouin urinated inside the mosque. The Prophet’s companions said: ‘What is going on?’ ‘What are you doing?’ The Prophet said to them: ‘Do not interrupt him.’ He subsequently called the man and said to him: ‘These mosques are not the place where one can throw any dirt, urine or stools. They are meant for reciting the Qur’an, glorifying God and prayer.’ He then called for a bucket of water and he poured it over the urine.” (Bukhari, Muslim, Nassai, Malik and Ahmad)
  • Helping a Mentally Ill Slave Girl
    • There was an insane* slave girl in Madinah. She walked the streets of Madinah talking to herself. Most people paid no attention to her. They knew that she had no control over herself. Many were amused by her insane chatter. One day, as the Prophet (pbuh) was speaking to some companions, this girl appeared. She asked the Prophet, “O Prophet of Allah, will you do me a favor?” The Prophet said, “I will do whatever I can for you.” “But you have to come with me,” she said. The Prophet asked, “Where do you want to take me?” “I will take you to the street, and then I will tell you what I want.” The Prophet said, “All right, I will follow you to any street you want to take me to.” The people were surprised that the Prophet would spend his time with an insane girl. They knew the girl did not mean what she said. But the Prophet was friendly, and the girl held his hand and asked him to follow her. The Prophet followed the girl through the streets of Madinah. She was talking to herself and walking. At a narrow alley, the girl sat down and asked the Prophet to sit with her. He did so. This example of the Prophet sent a clear message to Muslims that leaders are responsible for all members of a community, especially the handicapped. (Muslim, Akhlaq wa Adab; Abu Dawud)
      *although most translations use insane, the appropriate term to use is mentally ill 
  • Prophet(S)’s Kindness to the People of Taif
    • When life became formidably unendurable for the Prophet , due to relentless torture and persecution from the Makkan elites, he went to the neighbouring town of Taif in search of support. The leaders of Taif ridiculed him and hurled insults at him. They also steered the children and slaves to pelt him with rocks and stones. Many years later he recalled it as the worst day of his life. Following this dreadful event, it is recorded in Muslim traditions that God sent an angel who was prepared to destroy the town and all its inhabitants, but Muhammad declined saying: ‘Forgive my people for they know not what they do and, perhaps from them will come a people who worship God.’ Prophet Muhammad did not seek revenge. He sought reconciliation. He did not preach violence. Again, he advocated peace, and thereby, demonstrated unprecedented mercy and compassion.

Rahmah to Family

  • Prophet(S) Kindness to his daughter
    • Aisha narrated: “I have never encountered anyone that had emulated the Holy Prophet in manner, likeness and speech more than Fatimah, may Allah honor her face. When she came in to visit him (the Prophet) he got up to (welcome) her, took her by the hand, kissed her and made her sit where he was sitting; and when he went in to visit her, she got up to (welcome) him, took him by the hand, kissed him, and made him sit where she was sitting.”
  • Prophet Yusuf (AS) and his brothers
    • Prophet Yusuf’s story teaches us about forgiveness of family members (i.e., how he forgives his brothers after they left him to die in a well).

In this section, you’ll find activities that teach the virtue and help youth put the virtue into action along with discussion questions.

  1. Awesome Kindness Projects
    • Goal:
      • 13 student-led kindness projects rooted in service leadership
    • Activity:
      • Kindness Rocks:
        • Have students find, clean, and paint small rocks with acrylic paint, then spray seal them
        • Hide rocks around campus or throughout the community
      • See link for activities to choose from
    • Discussion Questions:
      1. How did it feel to do an act of kindness?
      2. In what ways does bringing more kindness help your community?
  2. Create a Kindness Challenge
    • Goal:
      • Learn kindness by doing
    • Activity:
      • Use the link to obtain ideas. Some examples:
        • Share something with someone, Offer to help a neighbor with a bulky package, Hold a door open for the person behind you, Give a sincere compliment without expecting anything in return, or Give a server a larger than normal tip, just because
    • Discussion Questions:
      1. How did it feel to do an act of kindness?
      2. In what ways does bringing more kindness help your community?
  3. 6 empathy exercises 
    • Goal:
      • Teach empathy
    • Activity: Interviewing each other
      • Students will interview another person and learn about their hopes, dreams, struggles, and experiences
      • Guide your students to ask questions to get underneath the surface of their interviewees. For example, interview questions might include:
        • What is the best thing that ever happened to you?
        • What do you love about yourself?
      • Then, ask your students to make representations of what they’ve learned about their interviewees. This could be a report, or an artistic representation like a collage or a song
    • Discussion Questions:
      • What do you think empathy is?
      • How did it feel to be able to show empathy?
  4. What’s going on with this picture?
    • Goal:
      • Viewing an image with your youth and asking them to put themselves in the shoes of who they see in the picture teaching empathy. 
    • Activity: Insight With Photography
      • Share a weekly image and then reveals the story behind the picture at the end of the week; use the images to spark wonderment and discussions about empathy
        • Picture of Palestine or Sudan
    • Discussion Questions:
      • What emotions does the picture evoke in you?
      • How can we channel that emotion positively?
  5. Step in – Step Out – Step Back
    • Goal:
      • Another strategy to foster empathy with images.
    •  Example:
      • Examine a person in a situation, try stepping into their shoes to imagine what they are experiencing, step out to identify what they need to learn to understand the person’s experience, and step back to observe their own reaction
    • Discussion Questions:
      • How was your experience in stepping in someone else’s shoes?
      • How can we share the experience of empathy with others and learn from them?
  6. 4 A’s of Apologizing
    • Goal:
      • Learn about the genuine form of apologizing
    • Activity:
      • Review the 4 A’s to apologizing with the youth and ask them to generate examples and discuss.
        • Admit what you did wrong. You need to be specific about what you did. “I borrowed your sweater without asking first.”
        • Apologize for how your choice affected the other person. “I’m sorry that it wasn’t in your closet when you needed it. Will you forgive me?”
        • Ask for what you can do to make it up to the person. “I know I can’t undo what I did. I can hand wash your sweaters for you or something else if you’d rather.”
        • Alter your choice in the future. “I promise to ask next time.”
    • Discussion Questions:
      • How do you currently apologize? 
      • How does it feel to know there is more to an apologize besides “I am sorry”?
  7. Lighten Up
    • Goal: 
      • An activity to assist youth to let go of grudges as well as learn self-compassion. 
    • Activity:
      • Draw an outline of a heart on the board. Walk through a typical day for a young person. Cite examples of events happening that the youth holds a grudge about. With the mention of each one, color in the heart a little with a dark color. When the heart is fully colored, talk about what it means to have a heavy heart.
      • Ask for suggestions of what this youth could do to lighten their heart. You will be seeking resolutions to the examples that you gave initially. With each resolution, erase part of the colored in heart until all the issues have been forgiven but still leave a little area colored in.
      • Use these resources ot help with resolution and self-compassion:
    • Discussion Question:
      • What does self-compassion mean to you? How is it different from self-esteem or self-confidence?
      • Why do you think it’s often easier to show compassion to others than to ourselves?
      • How did the Prophetصلى الله عليه وسلمshow self-compassion and patience with others who made mistakes? What can we learn from his example for ourselves?
  8. Other Activities

In this section, you’ll find Dua’s that can help youth connect to Allah through Dua. They can recite these duaa during activities or in their daily lives to be granted these virtues.

  • O Living, O Sustainer, by Your mercy I seek deliverance. Take care of all my affairs and do not leave me to the care of myself even for the blink of an eye.” (al-Sunan al-Kubrā lil-Nasā’ī 10330)
  • “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we forget or err. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us.”  (2:286)
  • “Oh my Lord, have mercy on my parents like they had mercy on me when I was young.” (17:24)
  • “O my Lord forgive me and my parents.” (71:28)

In this section, we’ve provided deep reflection questions you can use to help youth check-in with themselves on each virtue and do a self-assessment of their own growth.

  • What does it look, sound, and feel like to treat yourself with compassion and care?
  • How can you be kind to yourself when you need a day off?
  • What does kindness mean to you?
  • Describe a time when someone showed kindness to you. How did you feel?
  • Who is positively affected by acts of kindness (the giver, receiver and even witness can receive the benefits of a kind act!)?
  • What are some examples of kindness that you have witnessed or have heard about?
  • How can we be kind to others? Animals? The environment?

Cited Sources and Additional Resources:

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