“O believers! Fasting is prescribed for you—as it was for those before you—so perhaps you will become mindful of Allah.” (S 2:183).
Those who can’t fast might feel a range of emotions about the Blessed month. From excitement to nervousness, feelings can run the spectrum. But for some Muslims who can’t fast, it can be difficult to balance the spiritual expectations of Ramadan with the physical and mental challenges associated with an illness. Naturally, difficult emotions can surface and make time intended for an increased connection with Allah challenging. Knowing how to deal with these emotions can help turn a challenging time into an opportunity for spiritual and mental healing. So how can you make Ramadan a positive experience when fasting isn’t an option? In this article, we’ve provided tips for coping with emotions that arise in Ramadan when you can’t fast.
1. Work Through Your Feelings
When you’re unable to fast in Ramadan, you can feel disconnected from the month’s blessings. And while the Qur’an makes it clear that the sick are exempt from fasting, you may still feel shame or guilt for not being able to participate in what is an obligatory act of worship for others. This perception can lead to feelings of isolation and shut you down from taking advantage of other forms of worship in the Holy month. The result – Ramadan becomes a difficult time that negatively affects your spiritual and mental well-being.
Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
Seeing others fasting can leave you feeling excluded from the collective spiritual experience. Yet, comparing your experience to others can lead to emotional drain, make you less productive, harm relationships, and negatively affect your self-worth (Godreau, 2023). This can take your focus off the ultimate goal – establishing a better connection with Allah. Allah says in the Qur’an, “…Whatever good you send forth for yourselves, you will ˹certainly˺ find ˹its reward˺ with Allah. Surely Allah is All-Seeing of what you do…” (2;110). . And while you may not be able to worship the same as others in Ramadan, you shouldn’t see yourself as less than. Instead, take comfort in knowing that your spiritual journey is unique and just as valuable as those around you. Each time you find yourself looking to others–PAUSE, look inward to yourself and upward to Allah–those are the two directions that matter.
Challenge Negative Thinking
When you can’t fast in Ramadan, it can be easy to get into a cycle of negative thoughts. “I can’t get enough good deeds because I can’t fast” “I can’t fast because maybe Allah didn’t want me to fast” “I can’t get Allah’s pleasure if I can’t fast” “Why me?” If we repeat these thoughts in our head, the more we’ll start to believe them. To combat such thoughts:
- First acknowledge them when they come up (Harvard University, 2024).
- Then, try countering it with something like, “I can’t fast but that doesn’t make me less of a Muslim.” OR “I can’t fast but I can still earn good deeds by doing other acts.”
- Just as many abstain from food during this month, your task is to try abstaining from negative thoughts.
- Also try remembering that Allah has given you a special Mercy by exempting you from fasting. Instead of seeing your illness as a form of punishment, try refocusing your thoughts on the acts of worship you can do during Ramadan..
- For more ways to deal with overwhelming feelings, check out this article.
2. Create a plan for worship
Creating a plan of alternative acts of worship is a way to experience the blessings of Ramadan and build a better relationship with Allah when fasting isn’t an option. Just as you would with fasting, focus on being consistent with your plan throughout the month. Structure your plan to make good use of your time while being mindful of your physical and mental circumstances. The goal for all Muslims in Ramadan is to obtain Taqwa (god-consciousness) so center your plan of worship around that. Some ideas:
- Dhikr: Doing more dhikr (remembrance) of Allah – This doesn’t require much physical effort and can be done standing, sitting, or lying down.Improving Salah: Focusing on improving prayers in quality and /or quantity:
- Learn more about increasing mindfulness (khushuu)in your prayer
- For those physically able, include completing extra or longer prayers.
- Allah’s Names: Get close to Allah through learning His Names so that you can call on Him in your times of need
- Dua: Allah is waiting for you to ask! Improve your dua power by:
- Including Allah’s names
- Broadening what you are asking
- Being intentional about supplicating during special times during the month.
- Learn more about making dua in Ramadan with this resource.
- Avoid sin: Practicing keeping your tongue, eyes, heart, and mind from engaging in sinful activities – This can include taking a break from social media and spending less time in other social settings that don’t include acts of worship.
Strengthen Your Connection with the Qur’an
When you can’t fast in Ramadan, it can be easy to lose sight of one of the most important blessings of the month – the Qur’an. But Ramadan is the month the Qur’an was sent down, and for those who can’t fast, it’s a path to spiritual growth (S 2:185). Spending time reading, reciting, and listening to the Qur’an can provide comfort if you’re experiencing unpleasant emotions. Research even suggests that listening to and reciting the Qur’an can help improve Muslims’ physical and mental well-being. This is all the more reason to focus on the Qur’an if you’re unable to fast due to an illness. Connecting with the Qur’an is also one of the best ways to strengthen your connection with Allah as it reinforces that direct link with him through his words. So even if you’re unable to fast, you can still aim to increase your piety through Allah’s book.
In Closing: Ramadan is a Time of Growth
As the Quran explains, fasting is a prescription for how we can form a better relationship with Allah but it is also a test for Muslims with chronic physical and mental illnesses. Feelings of disconnect, guilt, shame, and/or overwhelm can surface even during the blessed month. Instead of seeing Ramadan as a time of negativity, Muslims who can’t fast can see it as a unique opportunity to experience spiritual growth and healing. Know that Allah is al-Hakim (the most wise) and while you may not be able to fast this Ramadan there is divine wisdom in his instruction. Remember that just because you’re unable to fast in Ramadan doesn’t mean you’re left out of Allah’s mercy.
For more resources, check out our Ramadan Toolkit which includes resources for those coping with chronic illness, mental illness, and eating disorders.
Sources:
Che Wan Mohd Rozali, W. N. A., Ishak, I., Mat Ludin, A. F., Ibrahim, F. W., Abd Warif, N. M., & Che Roos, N. A. (2022). The Impact of Listening to, Reciting, or Memorizing the Quran on Physical and Mental Health of Muslims: Evidence From Systematic Review. International Journal of Public Health, 67(IJPH Special Issue “Health in All Sustainable Development Goals), 1604998. https://doi.org/10.3389/ijph.2022.1604998
Ghazalsaflou, mehdi. (2024). The Role of Spirituality in Coping with Chronic Illness. Journal of Personality and Psychosomatic Research (JPPR), 1(4), 38-45. https://doi.org/10.61838/kman.jppr.1.4.6
Godreau, J. (2024, December 19). The psychology of comparison: why we do it and how to stop. Mindful Health Solutions. https://mindfulhealthsolutions.com/the-psychology-of-comparison-why-we-do-it-and-how-to-stop/
Harvard University. (2024). Identifying Negative Automatic Thought Patterns. Sdlab.fas.harvard.edu. https://sdlab.fas.harvard.edu/cognitive-reappraisal/identifying-negative-automatic-thought-patterns
Godreau, J. (2023, November 3). The Psychology of Comparison: Why We Do It and How to Stop. Mindful Health Solutions. https://mindfulhealthsolutions.com/the-psychology-of-comparison-why-we-do-it-and-how-to-stop/
Yaqeen Institute. (2024). Intro | A Month When Du’as Are Accepted | Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research. Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research. https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/intro-a-month-when-duas-are-accepted-ramadan-duas-on-repeat
