Sabr
What does it mean to have sabr?
It’s important to note that there are many approaches to sabr within Islamic and psychological frameworks. Also, even though “Sabr” is frequently translated into English as ‘patience’, we do not believe this term accurately and comprehensively reflects the experience of Sabr. So, with discussions from scholars and members of this COP project, we will use the arabic word throughout this toolkit and will use an umbrella framework that combines the different approaches to this virtue.
- Sabr is a positive psychological attitude (Ibn al-Qayyim) to protect the soul from despair and rage–helping the soul to push through during times of grief and stress. It is about actively moving forward in a trial with Taqwa, trust and submission to Allah’s Will to change one’s condition.
- Sabr involves the ability to wait calmly in the face of frustration, adversity, or suffering…to achieve goals that contain a moral or beyond-the-self end (Schnitker et al., 2017; Shubert et al., 2022).
- Sabr is a higher-order virtue (think umbrella!), with many other traits fitting within it, such as patience, perseverance, endurance, courage and restraint.
- Sabr has three components (during trials, abstaining from sin, and persevering upon Allah’s obligations)
- We are focusing on sabr during negative life circumstances (trials)
- Abstaining from sin is addressed in the virtue of self-discipline and persevering upon Allah’s obligations is addressed throughout the other virtues
What does science say about developing sabr?
- Sabr can be different across different domains–having sabr in one part of life (i.e., losing a job) may not be the same as having sabr when dealing with a difficult relationship for example.
- Motivation is important–youth are more likely to strive to be patient when they are motivated to do so by an internal or external goal.
- Spiritual motivation (being motivated by religious values/beliefs) increases sabr
- Mechanisms or skill needed to build it:
- One’s ability to tolerate uncertainty – how we are able to tolerate uncertainty affects how we respond to stressful situations that are out of our control
- Trust in God (tawakkul) – Fostering trust in God’s wisdom, plan, and care of us as His creation helps to maintain sabr throughout trials
- Self-reflection – Being able to reflect on our own emotions, behaviors,and triggers helps to navigate through them during times of tests
- Gaining knowledge about religious values and beliefs so that we can internalize the wisdom behind God’s Law and Plan helps to increase sabr
- Sabr is a depletable resource–having to use too much can cause it to be depleted.
- Teach youth how to reset and refill that reserve
What does Allah and His Prophet(s) say about having sabr?
Sabr through trials and adversity
Quran
- We will certainly test you with some fear and hunger, and some loss of possessions and lives and crops. But give good news to the steadfast. Those who, when a calamity afflicts them, say, “To God we belong, and to Him we will return.” (2:155-6)
- O my son, observe the prayer, advocate righteousness, forbid evil, and be patient over what has befallen you. These are of the most honorable traits. (31:17)
- But whoever endures patiently and forgives—that is a sign of real resolve. (42:43)
- How many a prophet fought alongside him numerous godly people? They did not waver for what afflicted them in the cause of God, nor did they weaken, nor did they give in. God loves those who endure. (3:146)
Hadith
- “The parable of the believer is that of a tender plant. The wind sways it at times, and it returns to balance at times. The parable of the hypocrite is that of a cedar tree. It continues to be rigid until it is suddenly uprooted in a single moment.” (Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5643, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2810)
- Ibrahim ibn al-Ash’at reported: I asked Al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him…“What is sabr with calamity?” Al-Fudayl said, “It is to not publicize your complaint.” (Source: Ḥilyat al-Awliyā’ 11692)
- Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it. (Source: Sahih Muslim 2999)
- “Verily, Allah Almighty sends down support in proportion to the need, and He sends down sabr in proportion to the trial.” (Source: Musnad al-Bazzār 8878)
What does sabr look like? When does it show up?
Note: Many of us learned that if we grieve, get upset, or struggle with the trial given to us, then we aren’t having sabr. This is incorrect- and we need to reframe it. Rather, having sabr (beautiful patience) means feeling emotions as needed, and then pushing through them in a way that is pleasing to Allah and accepting His Will. Here is some content that can help you teach this aspect of sabr:
Quran
- O you who believe! Seek help through patience and prayers. God is with the steadfast. (2:153)
Hadith
- Beautiful patience does not mean we cannot experience grief or be moved emotionally. Indeed, the Prophet(S) himself lost several loved ones throughout his life, including his first wife Khadījah and his infant son Ibrāhīm. When Ibrāhīm was breathing his last breaths, the Prophet (S) took hold of him, kissed him, and smelled him, and he began to cry. One of his companions said, “Even you, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet (S) said, “This is mercy.” Then, he wept some more and he said:
- Verily, the eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved, but we will not say anything except what is pleasing to our Lord. We are saddened by your departure, O Ibrāhīm. (Al-Bukhārī, Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, 2:83, #1303)
- Mindset at the strike of calamity
- Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, passed by a woman who was weeping next to a grave. The Prophet said, “Be mindful of Allah and be patient.” She said, “Go away from me! You have not been afflicted by a calamity like mine,” and she did not recognize him. Then, she was told that it was the Prophet, so she went to the Prophet’s house and she did not find any guards there. She said to him, “I did not recognize you.” The Prophet said, “Verily, sabr is at the first strike.” (Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1283, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 926)
- Rabah ibn ‘Amr reported: Malik ibn Dinar, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “There is no righteous deed but that an obstacle is in front of it. If one is patient, he will break through to comfort, but if he is intimidated, he will turn back.” (Source: Ḥilyat al-Awliyā’ 2/371)
- Ibrahim ibn al-Ash’at reported: I asked Al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyad, may Allah have mercy on him…“What is sabr with calamity?” Al-Fudayl said, “It is to not publicize your complaint.” (Source: Ḥilyat al-Awliyā’ 11692)
In this section, you’ll find stories from Islamic history, the seerah, and role models that embody this virtue.
- Historical Figures
- Prophet Ayoub was a righteous man blessed with wealth, health, and a large family. However, his life took a dramatic turn when he was afflicted with a series of severe misfortunes (e.g., lost his wealth, his children, and his health). After years of suffering, God rewarded Ayoub for his unwavering faith and patience. He healed Ayoub’s body, restored his wealth, and blessed him with a new family.
- Prophet Yusuf was a beloved son of his father, Jacob. However, his brothers became envious of him and conspired to throw him into a well, later selling him into slavery. He was falsely accused of a crime and imprisoned for years. Despite these hardships, Yusuf maintained his faith and turned to God for guidance and strength. His patience and trust in God eventually led to his liberation and elevation to a position of power in Egypt.
- Hajr, the wife of Ibrahim (AS) was a righteous woman that exhibited the utmost patience when left in the desert with her son, Ismail.
- Contemporary Muslims
- Persist and Preserve Like the Giants On Whose Shoulders We Stand | Imam Omar Suleiman
- Imam Omar Suleiman tells us to take note of giants who persevered and because of that persistence we benefit from their legacy. He cautions us against glorifying the actions of the past if we use that as an excuse for our inaction in the present, which is a departure from Prophetic teaching.
- The Amazing Patience (Sabr) of Muhammad Ali & Malcolm X | Imam Omar Suleiman
- Imam Omar Suleiman talks about the amazing patience and perseverance of Muhammad Ali and Malcolm X that was drawn from a deep well of sincerity.
- Bilqis Abdul-Qaadir
- This story is about a young woman persevering through Islamophobia and channeling her frustrations into change and activism.
- Persist and Preserve Like the Giants On Whose Shoulders We Stand | Imam Omar Suleiman
In this section, you’ll find activities that teach the virtue and help youth put the virtue into action along with discussion questions.
- Device-free days
- Goal:
- Practice sabr through fasting from technology
- Activity:
- Have the youth pick one day to “fast” from devices.
- Discussion Questions:
- How did it feel to be device free for the day? What part was easy? Difficult?
- What did they notice about their sabr through the day? When was it high? When was it low?
- Goal:
- Sabr Scavenger Hunt
- Goal:
- Learn about sabr through a scavenger hunt involving clues and quotes
- Activity:
- Create a scavenger hunt with clues related to Sabr, such as finding objects or quotes that represent patience, perseverance, and gratitude. Leverage ChatGPT to design the scavenger hunt.
- Discussion Question:
- How did your understanding of sabr alter through the scavenger hunt?
- What aspects seem more clear to you or are still muddy?
- Goal:
- Sabr Cooking Challenge
- Goal:
- Learn sabr through cooking and working with others
- Activity:
- Organize a cooking challenge where youth work in teams to prepare dishes with limited time and resources. Emphasize the need for patience, teamwork, and adaptability during the cooking process, linking it to the concept of Sabr.
- what part of patience, teamwork, and adaptability during the cooking process is linked with sabr?
- how can you practice sabr with others after participating in this activity?
- Organize a cooking challenge where youth work in teams to prepare dishes with limited time and resources. Emphasize the need for patience, teamwork, and adaptability during the cooking process, linking it to the concept of Sabr.
- Goal:
- Sabr Fitness Relay
- Goal:
- Learning physical sabr through fitness relay/obstacle course
- Activity:
- A fitness relay race or obstacle course with obstacles representing challenges that require patience and perseverance to overcome. Incorporate teamwork and problem-solving elements to make the activity both physically engaging and mentally stimulating.
- Discussion Question:
- What helped you push through when you wanted to stop?
- What connections can you make between these physical tasks and real-life struggles?
- Goal:
- Make it difficult
- Goal:
- Practice sabr via a difficult activity or surprise
- Activity:
- Take youth on an activity and either increase the challenge in the activity or add a surprise element.
- Go on a 1 mile hike and make it 5 miles
- Turning off the a/c in a room, in a car,
- Have youth share limited quantity of food
- Take youth on an activity and either increase the challenge in the activity or add a surprise element.
- Discussion Questions:
- Discuss how youth responded, what did they feel in themselves when the challenge arose and how did they push through?
- Goal:
- Other Activities
- Book Reading: Autobiography of Malcolm X
- Get the youth to do repeated slightly complex activities (shooting a 3 pointer, puzzle, rubiks cube, memorization puzzle) and then pointing to the progress that one makes as you strive
- Think of something in nature that survives in harsh circumstances and draw it on paper. (Source)
- Mindfulness as way to develop sabr
- Mindfulness Metaphors – Link to video
- Under Pressure: Mindfulness for Teens – Watch this video with your teens and reflect on how Islam teaches mindfulness. Refer to How to be a mindful Muslim.
- Resilience building activities
- Mindfulness exercises
In this section, you’ll find Dua’s that can help youth connect to Allah through Dua. They can recite these duaa during activities or in their daily lives to be granted these virtues.
- “O Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men.” (Al-Bukhari)
- Oh Allah! I seek refuge in you from leprosy, madness, leprosy, contagion and evil diseases. [Abū Dāwūd and al-Nasaʾī]
- O Allah, I ask You for well-being in this world and the Hereafter. O Allah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in my religion, my worldly affairs, my family and my property. O Allah, conceal my faults and keep me safe from what I fear. O Allah, guard me from in front of me and behind me, on my right and on my left, and from above me. And I seek refuge in Your Magnificence from being swallowed up from beneath me. [Abū Dāwud and Ibn Mājah]
- Allah is enough for me. There is no true god but Him, in Him I put my trust, and He is the Lord of the Great Throne. (Repeat seven times.) [Abū Dāwūd]
- There is no deity except You; exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers. Surah Al-Anbiya 87 (Du’a of Yunus (as))
- https://yaqeeninstitute.org/read/paper/how-to-be-a-mindful-muslim-an-exercise-in-islamic-meditation
- https://www.seemescotland.org/media/8155/resiliance-toolkit.pdf
In this section, we’ve provided deep reflection questions you can use to help youth check-in with themselves on each virtue and do a self-assessment of their own growth.
- What does the term sabr mean to you, and how do you think it applies to your daily life?
- Can you recall a specific situation where you had to practice sabr? How did it make you feel?
- What are some challenges or frustrations you face that test your patience? How do you usually respond?
- How can you strengthen your sabr/resolve?
- What are some small daily practices you can adopt to build more patience in your life?
- How can you use prayer and reflection to strengthen your sabr when faced with trials?
- How do you think practicing sabr can help you handle difficult situations better?
- “If I keep my sadness private and only share it with Allah, does that mean I am doing the right thing?” Please explain.
- The goal of this discussion is to help youth recognize that asking for help doesn’t mean you aren’t having sabr.
- How do you think sabr impacts your relationships with friends and family? Can you give an example?
- What role does gratitude play in developing sabr? How can you incorporate more gratitude into your life?