{"id":6869,"date":"2017-01-25T05:37:23","date_gmt":"2017-01-25T05:37:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/understanding-dynamics-abusive-relationships\/"},"modified":"2017-01-25T05:37:23","modified_gmt":"2017-01-25T05:37:23","slug":"understanding-dynamics-abusive-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/understanding-dynamics-abusive-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding the Dynamics of Abusive Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"

Abusive relationships are fairly simple. They are driven by insecurity, fear<\/a> that feeds that insecurity and an expectation of inconsistency, both real and perceived.<\/p>\n

An abuser is morbidly insecure. S\/he (yes, potentially, she) has little sense of his\/her own social value and makes an effort to gain or re-gain some semblance of that value through domination and control. The fear that feeds that insecurity has two fronts: fear of not being lovable, and fear of appearing weak. The paradox here is that the abuser is, in fact, weak, which is why s\/he abuses — to maintain a sense of control — in the first place. The perceived inconsistency on the part of the abuser by the victim is that the victim is not submitting to the abuser’s domination.<\/p>\n

The victim is also morbidly insecure and for surprisingly similar reasons. S\/he also has little sense of his\/her own social value, but makes an effort to establish that value by losing him\/herself to the demand for submission. The fear that feeds this insecurity is also about not being lovable or loved, and there is a willingness to accept the inconsistency of the abuser’s attention for the sake of being loved.<\/p>\n

The pathological need to control on the part of the abuser and the pathological need for attention on the part of the victim is a match made in heaven. We are all just a bunch of neurotic <\/a>habits that tend to find a fit with our opposite to create a psychosocial balance. Abusive relationships are one of the most extreme cases of this dynamic.<\/p>\n

To continue reading click here…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Abusive relationships are fairly simple. They are driven by insecurity, fear that feeds that insecurity and an expectation of inconsistency, both real and perceived. An abuser is morbidly insecure. S\/he (yes, potentially, she) has little sense of his\/her own social value and makes an effort to gain or re-gain some semblance of that value through […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10680,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[148,137],"tags":[303,597,199,237,598,599,600,306,601,602],"age":[],"content-type":[],"persona":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6869"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6869"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6869\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10680"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6869"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6869"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6869"},{"taxonomy":"age","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/age?post=6869"},{"taxonomy":"content-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/content-type?post=6869"},{"taxonomy":"persona","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefyi.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/persona?post=6869"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}