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After a Divorce

Going through a divorce may leave you navigating many emotions, from anxiety about what’s to come to sadness over what’s been lost to even joy at breaking away from a negative situation. Healthy coping strategies and reliance on Allah (swt) can help you come out of this process and move forward with positivity. Refer to this section for how to navigate stressors you may be facing after divorce. For more resources, check out The FYI’s Divorce Support Toolkit.

Coping With the Breakup

*Note: Divorce is not a linear process–it’s a transition from the beginning to the very end, and even many years after. You may find yourself coming back to this section even after you have obtained the divorce and that’s okay–be kind to yourself as you move through this transition. 

After a Divorce

Allow yourself to grieve over your relationship and cope in healthy ways. Recognize that you will be going through many different stages of divorce — understand these stages and the coping strategy you need to use in each stage. Choose to cope in healthy ways and care for yourself emotionally and physically.

Know that Allah (SWT) will bring ease for you after this hardship. “Verily, Along with Every Hardship is Ease” (Quran, 94:6). You can sieze this moment and learn more about how you can thrive after a divorce.

Recovery After a Divorce

After a DivorceRecovering from a hurtful and abusive relationship takes time and healing. Check out these resources to help you navigate this specific journey:

  • Recognize that you will have a lot of unlearning and rebuilding to do after you leave an unhealthy relationship
  • Try these 5 self-care tips such as positive affirmations and channeling the pain into creativity
  • Consider these tips to help you emotionally recover from an abusive relationship
  • Consider the power of forgiveness when you are ready, not to excuse the abuser but rather, to work on letting go of your anger, resentment, and thoughts of revenge so that you can prioritize your own healing
  • Heal from gaslighting and learn how to trust yourself again.

Caring for Children After a Divorce

After a DivorceRecognize that divorce can have negative effects on your children. The resources below offer information about how to help your children cope.

  • Get the facts on common misconceptions about divorcing with children
  • Watch this video to help you understand what children go through in a divorce
  • Know that a high-conflict divorce has negative effects on children
  • Manage the effects of divorce on kids by paying attention to changes in their behaviors
  • Your teen still needs you during this transition–learn how to help them adjust
  • Learn how to meet the rights of children, such as their right to living in a conflict-free zone and to love each parent

The home environment and how you parent with your ex are two key factors in building resilience in your children and protecting them from the negative effects of divorce:

Managing Finances After a Divorce

After a Divorce

Financial stability is important for mental health and is a legitimate concern during the divorce process. Consider the following financial issues anytime throughout the process of divorce and even years later.

Educate Yourself

Refine Your Financial Skills

Protect Yourself

Divorce Later in Life

“Your marriage is ending as your kids are leaving the house.”

Although divorce among couples over the age of 50 is still not as prevalent as for those under 50, it is rising and becoming a concern in our communities. Divorce in later-life comes with its own set of stigma and challenges but can end with good outcomes. Refer to this section for resources on navigating later-life divorces.

Resources for Adult Children of Divorced/Divorcing Parents

Navigating your parents’ divorce as an adult child in a unique experience. Although you have strengths that work in your favor than those who experience divorce in childhood, there are negative aspects to the experience as well. With the resources listed below, and trust in Allah’s (SWT) will, you can rise above all the turmoil and find tranquility.

  • Consider these 5 things you may face as an adult child of divorce
  • Try these tips to cope with the emotional toll of your parents’ divorce
  • Rely on these 5 strategies to help you get through your parents’ divorce
  • Acknowledge your feelings no matter what they may be
  • Set firm boundaries as your parents lean on you for support
  • Seek help for yourself
  • Prioritize self-care as you try to “parent your parents”
  • Be kind to yourself and engage in self-compassion

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Zakat eligibility of The FYI

The Family & Youth Institute, or The FYI, is a well-known Muslim organization in the United States. It works to promote mental health and wellness by strengthening and empowering individuals, families, and communities through research and education. It has been working for many years to bring Islamic perspectives to understanding and promoting mental health in our communities.

It is dedicated to serving and supporting Muslims – safeguarding our deen, our families, and our future generations. Therefore, the work of The FYI comes in the category of ‘fi sabeelillah’ or the Path of Allah, within the eight categories where Zakat money can be used.

Zakah expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy and for those employed for it and for bringing hearts together [for Islam] and for freeing captives [or slaves] and for those in debt and for the cause of Allah, and for the [stranded] traveler – an obligation [imposed] by Allah, And Allah, is Knowing and Wise.”
(Al-Tawbah 9:60)

According to scholars who widen the meaning of fee sabeelillah to include any activities that promote Islamic growth, The FYI is indeed eligible to receive part of the Zakat funds for its programs and services. I urge Muslims in America to support this organization through their donations, general charity, and through their Zakat. I ask Allah swt to strengthen and guide The FYI to continue its good work in supporting Muslims.

Shaikh Ali Suleiman Ali, PhD

About Shaikh Ali

Sh. Ali Suleiman Ali was born in Ghana where he spent his childhood studying with various Muslim scholars. He then moved to Saudi Arabia and enrolled in the Islamic University of Madina.  He graduated with a degree in both Arabic and Islamic Studies. Dr. Ali went on to complete his Ph.D. in Islamic Studies at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.

Sh. Ali serves on the Advisory Council of The Family & Youth Institute. He is the Senior Imam and Director of the Muslim Community of Western Suburbs in Canton, Michigan. Additionally, he serves as the Director of Muslim Family Services in Detroit and is a council member of the Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA). He is also a member of the North American Imams Federation (NAIF) and the Association of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA).