When my daughter became engaged, I went online seeking a good marriage compatibility test for them to take. I wasn’t satisfied with anything I found, so I put together a questionnaire that I felt would be worthwhile. Many online tests reveal a score after asking only one partner about 15 questions. You might be tempted for quick and easy reassurance, but you may just end up with a false sense of security. I don’t believe compatibility can be effectively measured and scored. What matters more is how you handle your differences through effective communication, not necessarily the fact that you have them.

Discussing certain topics together could prove much more informative than a score of how many questions you answer the same. Take for example the question: Do you ever get the feeling your partner is keeping something from you? If you both answer “sometimes” it doesn’t make you more compatible just because you answered the same, but imagine the big line of communication it could open up.

This unique set of 183 questions is used as a discussion and discovery tool — not to keep score. You fill it out separately, and then discuss each question together which will promote intimate communication. Many of the questions delve into your innermost feelings and emotions concerning 7 critical categories that will enhance awareness of yourself, your partner and the compatibility of your relationship.

Check out the full list of questions here.