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Secrets to Surviving your First Year of Marriage

So, you’ve survived the wedding planning process, made it through the big day, dodged every curve ball life has thrown at you and now you can finally relax and enjoy the married life, right?

Well, according to a variety of sources and experts, you may have a few more surprises in store. In a recent Huffington Post article, marriage and family therapist Winifred M. Reilly described some of her own marital experiences and things she wishes she’d known as a newlywed.

“Most of us step into marriage hoping for a lifetime of love and happiness, knowing far too little about what might give us our best shot at getting there. Many of us assume that because we’re in love, because we have common values and compatible dreams, we’ve got everything we need to have a marriage that lasts.”

Newlyweds may feel like they’ve got this marriage thing all figured out, but these five things may come as a surprise to newly married couples.

Fairness is a very fluid concept

Reilly reminds us that life isn’t fair and neither is marriage. She notes that the idea of a perfect 50/50 compromise every day is a novel idea but is rather unattainable in a real marriage.

“Who wants a life of constant ledgering, keeping track of who did that when and who owes whom? Why does it matter that it was you who last called the babysitter and that it was *he *who left the dirty pot in the sink?” says Reilly.

Instead, she offers a different method: “Strive to be generous.” By offering support and letting some things slide, she finds that couples end up focusing more on what they put into the marriage and less on what they get out of it.

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The Prophet (SAS) said, “There are no days in which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allah than these ten days”
(Bukhari).

Guarantee your blessings!

Zakat eligibility of The FYI

The Family & Youth Institute, or The FYI, is a well-known Muslim organization in the United States. It works to promote mental health and wellness by strengthening and empowering individuals, families, and communities through research and education. It has been working for many years to bring Islamic perspectives to understanding and promoting mental health in our communities.

It is dedicated to serving and supporting Muslims – safeguarding our deen, our families, and our future generations. Therefore, the work of The FYI comes in the category of ‘fi sabeelillah’ or the Path of Allah, within the eight categories where Zakat money can be used.

Zakah expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy and for those employed for it and for bringing hearts together [for Islam] and for freeing captives [or slaves] and for those in debt and for the cause of Allah, and for the [stranded] traveler – an obligation [imposed] by Allah, And Allah, is Knowing and Wise.”
(Al-Tawbah 9:60)

According to scholars who widen the meaning of fee sabeelillah to include any activities that promote Islamic growth, The FYI is indeed eligible to receive part of the Zakat funds for its programs and services. I urge Muslims in America to support this organization through their donations, general charity, and through their Zakat. I ask Allah swt to strengthen and guide The FYI to continue its good work in supporting Muslims.

Shaikh Ali Suleiman Ali, PhD

About Shaikh Ali

Sh. Ali Suleiman Ali was born in Ghana where he spent his childhood studying with various Muslim scholars. He then moved to Saudi Arabia and enrolled in the Islamic University of Madina.  He graduated with a degree in both Arabic and Islamic Studies. Dr. Ali went on to complete his Ph.D. in Islamic Studies at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.

Sh. Ali serves on the Advisory Council of The Family & Youth Institute. He is the Senior Imam and Director of the Muslim Community of Western Suburbs in Canton, Michigan. Additionally, he serves as the Director of Muslim Family Services in Detroit and is a council member of the Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA). He is also a member of the North American Imams Federation (NAIF) and the Association of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA).