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10 Tips To Help Your Child With Anger

All kids — like all humans — get angry. When we feel threatened, we move into fight, flight or freeze. Anger is the body’s “fight” response.

But humans don’t only get angry in response to outside threats. When something happens today that reminds us of a past upset, we get angry to protect ourselves — even if the threat today isn’t really much of a threat. That’s why our three year old’s defiance triggers our rage.

We also get angry in attempts to maintain our equilibrium. So when our own fear, hurt, disappointment, pain or grief is too upsetting, we tend to lash out. The anger doesn’t get rid of the hurt, but it makes us feel less powerless and temporarily numbs the pain. This explains why anger is part of the grieving process.

So humans mobilize against any perceived threat (even our own upsets) by attacking.

That’s true for kids as well, of course. And because kids don’t have a context for their upsets, a small disappointment can seem like the end of the world. Worse yet, since they don’t have a fully developed frontal cortex to help them self-regulate, children are even more prone to lashing out when they’re angry.  (Doesn’t it seem crazy that we expect them to handle anger constructively, when so often we adults don’t?)

Sometimes attacking makes sense when we’re angry, but only when there’s actually a threat. That’s rare. Most of the time when kids get angry, they want to attack their little brother (who broke their treasured memento), their parents (who disciplined them “unfairly”), their teacher (who embarrassed them) or the playground bully (who scared them.)

Luckily, as children’s brains develop, they gain the capacity to manage their anger constructively — IF they live in a home where anger is handled in a healthy way.

What does “constructive” mean?

Click here to read more ->

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Zakat eligibility of The FYI

The Family & Youth Institute, or The FYI, is a well-known Muslim organization in the United States. It works to promote mental health and wellness by strengthening and empowering individuals, families, and communities through research and education. It has been working for many years to bring Islamic perspectives to understanding and promoting mental health in our communities.

It is dedicated to serving and supporting Muslims – safeguarding our deen, our families, and our future generations. Therefore, the work of The FYI comes in the category of ‘fi sabeelillah’ or the Path of Allah, within the eight categories where Zakat money can be used.

Zakah expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy and for those employed for it and for bringing hearts together [for Islam] and for freeing captives [or slaves] and for those in debt and for the cause of Allah, and for the [stranded] traveler – an obligation [imposed] by Allah, And Allah, is Knowing and Wise.”
(Al-Tawbah 9:60)

According to scholars who widen the meaning of fee sabeelillah to include any activities that promote Islamic growth, The FYI is indeed eligible to receive part of the Zakat funds for its programs and services. I urge Muslims in America to support this organization through their donations, general charity, and through their Zakat. I ask Allah swt to strengthen and guide The FYI to continue its good work in supporting Muslims.

Shaikh Ali Suleiman Ali, PhD

About Shaikh Ali

Sh. Ali Suleiman Ali was born in Ghana where he spent his childhood studying with various Muslim scholars. He then moved to Saudi Arabia and enrolled in the Islamic University of Madina.  He graduated with a degree in both Arabic and Islamic Studies. Dr. Ali went on to complete his Ph.D. in Islamic Studies at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.

Sh. Ali serves on the Advisory Council of The Family & Youth Institute. He is the Senior Imam and Director of the Muslim Community of Western Suburbs in Canton, Michigan. Additionally, he serves as the Director of Muslim Family Services in Detroit and is a council member of the Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA). He is also a member of the North American Imams Federation (NAIF) and the Association of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA).