The Benefits of Marriage Preparation
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- The Benefits of Marriage Preparation
Why should you prepare for marriage?
Many people lack awareness about the importance of preparing for marriage. Couples often spend more time planning for their wedding than for their marriage. Research1 has found that many Muslim couples are unequipped and unprepared for the challenges of marriage. Some contributing factors include:
- A lack of awareness that marriage requires preparation.
- Mismanaged expectations around the day-to-day realities of marriage.
- Red flags that were left unaddressed before commitment to the marriage.
- Limited guidance during the courtship process, leaving potential couples feeling helpless, confused, and frustrated, and without a proper framework to assess for compatibility.
Given these factors and the changing divorce rate among Muslims,2 marriage preparation is incredibly important in helping couples build and sustain healthy marriages. Most mosques don’t have requirements for premarital education, beyond a brief meeting between the couple and the imam.3 Because there is no standard process, Muslims need to be proactive in seeking marriage preparation on their own.
What can preparing for marriage look like?
Marriage preparation is “any intentional effort delivered before marriage that is designed to help couples form and sustain healthy marriages.3 Marriage preparation can take on many forms, including participating in premarital counseling, attending a workshop, reading and discussing a book about marriage, completing a relationship assessment, or utilizing a combination of these methods through a resource like this toolkit. The goal of marriage preparation is to educate individuals and couples about potential problems in marriage and provide them with information and resources to prevent or address these problems.
Research shows that premarital education benefits individuals and couples by improving their communication and conflict resolution skills, increasing their satisfaction with and commitment to their marriages, and reducing their conflict and odds of divorce.5
Marriage preparation can also:
- Encourage and stimulate an individual’s self awareness in preparation for marriage.
- Help a potential couple assess for compatibility, identify red flags and potential issues, and determine whether they are a good fit for one another.
- Help frame expectations around marriage and develop an understanding of what it takes to build a strong marriage.
Additional Resources
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Footnotes
1: Killawi, A., Fathi, E., Dadras, I., Daneshpour, M., Elmi, A. and Hamid, H. (2018). Perceptions and experiences of marriage preparation among U.S. Muslims: Multiple voices from the community. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 44, 90–106.
2: Alshugairi, N. (2010). Marital trends in the American Muslim community: A pilot study. Journal of Muslim Mental Health, 5(3), 256–277.
Ba-Yunus, I. (2000). Divorce among Muslims. Islamic Horizons Magazine.
Ghayyur, T. (2010). Divorce in the Muslim Community: 2010 survey analysis. SoundVision Foundation. Retrieved August 15, 2016, from https://www.soundvision.com/article/divorce-in-the-muslim-community-2010-survey-analysis.
Macfarlane, J. (2012). Islamic divorce in North America: A Shari’a path in a secular society. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
Siddiqui, S. (2009).Divorce among American Muslims: Statistics, challenges & solutions. SoundVision.com. Retrieved August 4, 2016, from http://www.soundvision.com/article/divorce-among-american-muslims-statistics-challenges-solutions.
3: Macfarlane, J. (2012) Islamic Divorce in North America: A Sharia path in secular society. New York: Oxford Press.
4: Carroll, J.S., & Doherty, W.J. (2003). Evaluating the effectiveness of premarital prevention programs: A meta-analytic review of outcome research. Family Relations, 52(2), 105–118.
5: Carroll, J. S. and Doherty, W. J. (2003), Evaluating the Effectiveness of Premarital Prevention Programs: A Meta‐Analytic Review of Outcome Research. Family Relations, 52: 105-118.7.
Hawkins, A. J., Blanchard, V. L., Baldwin, S. A., & Fawcett, E. B. (2008). Does marriage and relationship education work? A meta-analytic study. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76(5), 723-734.
Stanley, S. M., Rhoades, G. K. and Markman, H. J. (2006), Sliding Versus Deciding: Inertia and the Premarital Cohabitation Effect. Family Relations, 55: 499-509.