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The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap:
Getting to Know Someone

What's on This Page

You’ve met someone. How do you know this person is the one you want to marry? 

The resources in this section will help you assess for compatibility. This phase can initially feel awkward, uncomfortable, or confusing. But with an intentional process, you’ll soon find clarity about the relationship.

Have Meaningful Conversations

How you get to know someone for marriage will vary depending on your cultural context, family expectations, and personal preference. What is important is that you are both intentional and principled in your interactions and that your communication is purposeful and within Islamic guidelines.  

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

What To Discuss
Before Marriage?

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

Past, Private, and Personal Experiences: How to Share with a Potential Partner

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

How to Ask Others
About Your
Potential Partner

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

Prepare to Pair

For the couple that’s courting, engaged, or ready to tie the knot.

Be Mindful and Observant

Stay critical, trust your intuition, and give yourself time to observe and address any concerns that arise.

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

5 Relationship Red Flags We Don’t Talk About

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

Green Relationship Flags To Look For in a Partner

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

Appreciate the Process Regardless of the Outcome

5 Ways to Soul-Search Before You Spouse Search

Have you done the necessary work to ensure that you’re ready for marriage?

Seek Out Support

Below are some ways to utilize the support system around you during your courtship. 

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

Should You Get Premarital Counseling?

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

Involving Your Family the Marriage Process

The Ultimate Courtship Roadmap: <br>Getting to Know Someone

Resources to Help You Decide About a Partner

How Family Communication Impacts the Marriage Process

When talking to family about marriage, poor communication or mismatched expectations can make things challenging. These tips can help. 

For Parents:
How to Support Your Children Through the Marriage Process

Looking for more?

Check out the rest of the Marriage Prep Toolkit for resources on involving your family, troubleshooting, and more


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Mental Health




Get Involved

Zakat eligibility of The FYI

The Family & Youth Institute, or The FYI, is a well-known Muslim organization in the United States. It works to promote mental health and wellness by strengthening and empowering individuals, families, and communities through research and education. It has been working for many years to bring Islamic perspectives to understanding and promoting mental health in our communities.

It is dedicated to serving and supporting Muslims – safeguarding our deen, our families, and our future generations. Therefore, the work of The FYI comes in the category of ‘fi sabeelillah’ or the Path of Allah, within the eight categories where Zakat money can be used.

Zakah expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy and for those employed for it and for bringing hearts together [for Islam] and for freeing captives [or slaves] and for those in debt and for the cause of Allah, and for the [stranded] traveler – an obligation [imposed] by Allah, And Allah, is Knowing and Wise.”
(Al-Tawbah 9:60)

According to scholars who widen the meaning of fee sabeelillah to include any activities that promote Islamic growth, The FYI is indeed eligible to receive part of the Zakat funds for its programs and services. I urge Muslims in America to support this organization through their donations, general charity, and through their Zakat. I ask Allah swt to strengthen and guide The FYI to continue its good work in supporting Muslims.

Shaikh Ali Suleiman Ali, PhD

About Shaikh Ali

Sh. Ali Suleiman Ali was born in Ghana where he spent his childhood studying with various Muslim scholars. He then moved to Saudi Arabia and enrolled in the Islamic University of Madina.  He graduated with a degree in both Arabic and Islamic Studies. Dr. Ali went on to complete his Ph.D. in Islamic Studies at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.

Sh. Ali serves on the Advisory Council of The Family & Youth Institute. He is the Senior Imam and Director of the Muslim Community of Western Suburbs in Canton, Michigan. Additionally, he serves as the Director of Muslim Family Services in Detroit and is a council member of the Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA). He is also a member of the North American Imams Federation (NAIF) and the Association of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA).